30 Times Headphone Reviews Went Completely Off the Rails

Shopping for headphones never made anyone laugh this hard before.
Shopping for headphones never made anyone laugh this hard before.

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Should we start writing headphone reviews this way?

Headphone reviews should be simple. They should just talk about sound quality, comfort, build quality, battery life, and overall performance. Instead, these 30 reviewers shared tales of broken marriages, missed emergencies, criminal confessions, and questionable life choices.

Buckle up for some of the most entertaining feedback about headphones and audio gear ever!

1. Headphones That Cancel More Than Noise and Responsibilities

The best headphones review ever. (From: Reddit)
The best headphones review ever. (From: Reddit)

These headphones are so comfortable they’ll cost you your marriage, your job, and maybe even your freedom. But hey, at least your ears are happy.

2. Ignorance Really Is Bliss

Headphone review. (From: Reddit)
Headphone review. (From: Reddit)

These headphones don’t just cancel noise, they cancel drama. Five stars for peace in the middle of mayhem.

3. That’s the Warmest eBay Transaction Ever

Overly attached eBay seller. (From: Reddit)
Overly attached eBay seller. (From: Reddit)

Forget headphones, this seller just sold you a lifelong friendship. Truly the most heartfelt transaction ever.

4. Dark Story, Stellar Endorsement

Noise Cancelling. (From: Reddit)
Noise Cancelling. (From: Reddit)

When your headphones are so good, you miss a crime scene. 10/10 for sound, not awareness.

We actually reviewed the HyperX Cloud II, if you’re curious if they’re really this good.

5. The Best Part is the Bubble Wrap

Headphone Amazon review. (From: Reddit)
Headphone Amazon review. (From: Reddit)

Sold a kidney, gained headphones, and apparently direct advice from God. These reviews are as over-the-top as the price tag.

It must be worth it since the HiFiMan Susvara are some of the most interesting headphones ever.

6. Surgeon-Approved Sound Quality? I’m Sold

Bose Quiet Comfort headphones on amazon. (From: Reddit)
Bose Quiet Comfort headphones on amazon. (From: Reddit)

Bose QuietComfort: because nothing should interrupt your tunes, not even an angry patient in a back alley.

7. Noise-Canceling Is a Blessing and a Curse

This 5-star verified review for noise cancelling headphones. (From: Reddit)
This 5-star verified review for noise cancelling headphones. (From: Reddit)

Sometimes the best feature of noise-canceling headphones isn’t the sound quality. It’s not hearing your spouse’s to-do list.

8. These Headphones Cancel Noise and Awareness

Great noise cancellation. (From: Reddit)
Great noise cancellation. (From: Reddit)

These headphones let you enjoy Destiny while completely ignoring reality. Impressive, but maybe a little too effective.

9. These Headphones Solve More Than Just Sound Issues

Review of headphones. (From: Reddit)
Review of headphones. (From: Reddit)

Noise-canceling that makes even the loudest complaints sound like soothing melodies.

10. Who Knew Sweat Could Beat Tech?

Sweatproof earphones do not stop you from sweating. (From: Reddit)
Sweatproof earphones do not stop you from sweating. (From: Reddit)

When your earphones are great in every way except the one thing you bought them for. Poor James, just trying to sweat in peace!

11. Bold Design Choices, I Guess?

Imagine just trying to enjoy your music, but your earbuds steal the spotlight, for all the wrong reasons.

It feels like I'm sticking dicks in my ears. (From: Reddit)
It feels like I’m sticking dicks in my ears. (From: Reddit)

12. Amazon Really Gets My Unique Needs

That's exactly the combo I was looking for. (From: Reddit)
That’s exactly the combo I was looking for. (From: Reddit)

Who knew earbuds and a raccoon cage were the ultimate power duo? Amazon’s recommendations never fail to surprise.

13. Cables So Long, They Double as Jump Ropes

Was researching earbuds when something didn't seem right. (From: Reddit)
Was researching earbuds when something didn’t seem right. (From: Reddit)

This cord is so long, it’s practically a part of the gym equipment.

14. When Headphones Carry More Feelings Than Bass

Looking for new headphones. (From: Reddit)
Looking for new headphones. (From: Reddit)

When the product review turns into a heartfelt message. The feels are louder than the bass.

15. Guess They’re Permanently Noise-Canceling Now

These headphones were worth $400. (From: Reddit)
These headphones were worth $400. (From: Reddit)

Not sure if this is a review for headphones or a blender, but one of them clearly did its job.

16. The Carnivore Version Sounds Like a Terrible Idea

Are these headphones vegan. (From: Reddit)
Are these headphones vegan. (From: Reddit)

Mike Tyson loving the carnivore edition? That’s the plot twist nobody saw coming. Stick to the vegetarian model, folks.

17. Kyle, We Get It

These headphones looks legit. (From: Reddit)
These headphones looks legit. (From: Reddit)

We get it, Kyle, you love the headphones. At this point, they should make you the brand ambassador.

18. Best Anti-Colleague Device

Noise Cancelling Headphones. (From: Reddit)
Noise Cancelling Headphones. (From: Reddit)

Matt didn’t just buy headphones; he bought his sanity back. Stay strong, Matt!

19. Demons Don’t Stand a Chance Against This Soundstage

Great product, louder than the demons talking to me. (From: Reddit)
Great product, louder than the demons talking to me. (From: Reddit)

When a headset isn’t just for gaming, it’s a full-on exorcism tool. These headphones are doing God’s work!”

20. “Why Not Dr. Dre?” Is Now My Motto

Headphone pads replacement for beats by Dr Dre. (From: Reddit)
Headphone pads replacement for beats by Dr Dre. (From: Reddit)

Not sure if these pads work for Dre, but they definitely work for unsolicited music opinions.

21. Baby Cries or Elderly Screams, You’re Covered

Noise blocking headphones. (From: Reddit)
Noise blocking headphones. (From: Reddit)

When your headphone review turns into a confession, and suddenly the baby crying doesn’t seem like the biggest problem

22. Husbands Yelling? Canceled

Can't hear my husband anymore. (From: Reddit)
Can’t hear my husband anymore. (From: Reddit)

Flooded kitchen? What flooded kitchen? These headphones are more effective than marriage counseling.

23. Spoiler: Probably Not Military-Grade

Bulletproof headphones. (From: Reddit)
Bulletproof headphones. (From: Reddit)

When a simple product question turns into a live experiment. Hope they make it back to leave a follow-up review

24. MY SOLDIERS RAAAAGEEEEE!

Ode to cheap pair of headphones. (From: Reddit)
Ode to cheap pair of headphones. (From: Reddit)

When your headphone review turns into an epic anime monologue. Who knew Koss Porta Pro had lore?

25. The True Hero of Your Audio Setup

Headphone adapter of heaven. (From: Reddit)
Headphone adapter of heaven. (From: Reddit)

This review turns an adapter into a family heirloom. Imagine telling your grandkids, ‘This is the piece that changed everything.’

26. Sounds Like the EMTs Did More Heavy Lifting

On a set of wireless headphones. (From: Reddit)
On a set of wireless headphones. (From: Reddit)

When your headphones cancel more than noise—they cancel responsibility too. 10/10 sound, 0/10 timing.

27. Loud and Clear, Unfortunately

You'll be able to hear every voice crack of the. (From: Reddit)
You’ll be able to hear every voice crack of the. (From: Reddit)

When you want audio clarity, but not that much clarity. At least you’ll never miss a single insult in the PUBG lobby.

28. Sounds Like the Headphones Hate Cardio

Beats Solo 3 Wireless Headphones. (From: Reddit)
Beats Solo 3 Wireless Headphones. (From: Reddit)

Sounds like these headphones skipped the gym. Might be time to find a new jogging partner!

29. Beats vs Sennheiser

Get the Beats Studio Pro Instead. (From: Reddit)
Get the Beats Studio Pro Instead. (From: Reddit)

Recommending Beats over Sennheiser is like suggesting fast food over a Michelin-star restaurant. The internet won’t recover from this one.

30. Things Naturally Wear and Tear Over Time? No Way!

How come? (From: Reddit)
How come? (From: Reddit)

Sure, 10 years is a long run, but who knew headphones could go full ‘molting season‘ on us? It’s like they’re shedding their skin to become a whole new species, except the mess is on us, literally.

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