AITA for wanting boyfriend to stop hiding his music preferences?
In a post on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole, a 30-year-old graphic artist and self-proclaimed goth voiced her dismay after discovering her boyfriend’s secret music tastes through social media. The revelation led to a heated argument and a canceled date.
Music can bridge relationships, fostering closeness and understanding between partners. Redditor u/musicbringer expressed this in a post where she recounted her disappointment when her attempts to bond with her boyfriend over music went unreciprocated.
The OP was surprised to learn of her boyfriend’s interest in Spanish love songs through a playlist screenshot he posted on an Instagram story.
This genre differed from other songs he’d shared with her, leading the OP to feel hurt and excluded as she believed he was keeping an essential part of his life hidden from her. On the other hand, the boyfriend explained that ‘’it didn’t matter, and music is not important.’’
The incident offers a fascinating glimpse into how different attitudes towards music can affect relationship dynamics.
Backlash From the Reddit Community
The response to u/musicbringer’s dilemma was critical, with many labeling her as ‘’YTA’’ (You’re the A**hole) in this scenario due to her ‘’super judgmental,’’ ‘’controlling,’’ and ‘’snobby’’ perspective.
According to Redditors, the crux of the issue revolves around the OP’s focus on music as a defining personality trait. The notion that ‘’he doesn’t want to be defined by his music’’ was a recurring theme in the comments, suggesting that u/musicbringer’s use of music as a yardstick for compatibility is misplaced.
Many also said that the OP’s boyfriend’s refusal to share his tastes was not a slight but a personal preference.
The community criticized the OP for dismissing a song her boyfriend shared with her as ‘’some random 60s song,’’ emphasizing her lack of respect in not acknowledging its proper title, despite her claim of wanting to understand her boyfriend better through his music.
Conversely, some Redditors highlighted a different perspective, noting that the boyfriend posting his playlist screenshot on his Instagram story contradicted his desire for music privacy. A few also said that he showed that music does matter to him by sharing his playlist publicly, thus justifying the OP’s disappointment.
Personal Boundaries in the Digital Age
The dispute raises questions about personal boundaries in an era dominated by music streaming services, where sharing playlists is encouraged via features like Spotify Wrapped. It also exemplifies the broader issue of how couples navigate and share their interests.
As music choices are often shared publicly, the expectation of openness about one’s musical preferences can clash with an individual’s right to privacy.
This inadvertently invites others to critique, judge, or form opinions about a person based solely on their musical tastes.
It’s crucial to recognize that not everyone considers their musical taste a defining element of their identity. While music is a powerful form of self-expression for some, for others, it may simply be a matter of liking what you like.